So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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