You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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