My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
