Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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