Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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