I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
