i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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