addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize