remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
