You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
