It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do vagina's smell?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
