And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
