I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
