i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ugly people sure do ruin things
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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