that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
