i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
