His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
