In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it's great music for shaving your balls
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
