I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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