Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just want to make out with him forever
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
