Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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