Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I understand Curling. That high.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
