dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
