dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
