Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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