and you said cock pushups were impossible
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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