She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize