Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
