Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
