Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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