Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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