I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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