It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is Oprah even human
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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