What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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