my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
