Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
