You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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