Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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