whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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