Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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