If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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