he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
