...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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