Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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