she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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