doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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