youre lurking in front of me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
