I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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