You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
