I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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