I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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