I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
