I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
