We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize