we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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