Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
