So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he quoted the bible to break up with me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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