Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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