her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
