I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
