just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
