He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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