Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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