he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
