I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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