Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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