The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
