where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
you never un-have a 4some
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
