yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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