Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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