so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's great music for shaving your balls
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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