I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
