lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize