Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
