whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
