"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
